hungry hungry couch

i am sooooooo lucky to have a 2 1/2 year old. if it were not for him, my couches would have shriveled away to nothing. you see, HE heard their desperate cries for food when i was beyond clueless to their needs. in fact, i had just removed the filling-less oreo cookies that had been tucked away between the cushions that my caring child had left for them.
well, seeing my insensitivity, kadence went right to work replenishing their food supply. i don't know how i didn't notice him cutting strawberries on the cushion with a dull butter knife until he was on the third one. do you know what happens when you try to cut strawberries with a butter knife! wala! you get a smoothie! i'm sure that hit the spot for my trusty couch.....no pun intended on the "SPOT".
then the next thing i knew he was painting on the other couch with sour cream. with a combination of dots, squiggly lines, blobs, and hand prints he put Picasso, DaVinci, and the Ink Blot Test to shame. obviously this couch was a bit of a pig because after i had washed kade's goopy hands and shirt the couch begged for a second helping....and he got it!
i have to say there's nothing worse than an energetic child combined with a slow, tired mom. this is why going to the bathroom is like a field trip where everybody comes. if they don't, you might as well put a stick of dynamite in a paint can because the damage is about the same as when little kids have 30 seconds to themselves unsupervised.
where was my 5 month old during all of this you might say? she was happily bouncing in her jumper blinking the water out of her eyes that came from kade's squirt gun.
i may have to go to therapy before i try to load my dishwasher ever again!