Research Shows Computers Are Evil

It's true!! Okay, so the research is my own, but I think I have enough data to back up the fact that computers are evil. If the kids are asleep (yea right) a short computer session may be mostly successful if you don't count all the hairs lost during a search for certain information that has been sucked into the deepest black hole of the cyber world which takes you practically anywhere and everywhere known to man; by the way, did you know that golf ball usually have anywhere from 330 to 500 dimples - depending on which company designs the ball? Unless of course it's a regulation golf ball in which the number is 336. The dimples help the ball travel further and higher. Good thing for an avid miniature golfer to know:) Also, thirty-six approved footballs are used in NFL games played outdoors (24 indoors). Lastly, the month of May is the peak of alligator mating season...at least in Florida.

Now that you are slightly smarter than you were a moment ago, I shall finally reveal my data supporting the fact that computers are evil.

My kids are somehow linked to the power button, the keyboard, the mouse, the lights on the monitor, or the gentle hum of the tower of my computer. Whenever any of these are being summoned for use, THE KIDS GO BERZERK!!!! Serious. I have tested this theory whether or not I'm trying to get on. I'll just press the power button and WHAMMO!! They come from any distant corner of the house and commence the pouncing on mommy's lap, swinging the chair around, whining for another popsicle......to name a few. It's as if the computer sends out little pulses of electric shocks for as long as it is in use! Someone should really look into this. I mean, our future depends on it.

Perhaps this is the reason why kids have such a hard time hearing what you say (listen to me....my kids are only 2 and 4!). Perhaps the culprit is not the voluntary selective hearing mechanism they have, but the short circuit caused by the electrical pulses emmited from TV's, computers, radios, cell phones, video games, etc. That part I can't officially back up, but the fact that the computer in any other status than "OFF" makes my kids turn into the wild things of my house is undeniably true.

I thought about protecting their little heads from this strange phenomenon with syrafoam helmets or something.....but decided against it on account of them filling anything they can with the "liquid of the day."